Saturday, January 22, 2011

"Just" Playing The Cards, That I Have Been Given...

The other day, Judy had a somewhat thought provoking haiku poem, that was really an eye opener.... in a very positive way :o)

At first it made me wonder: Am I actually glad that I have MS? The answer would be a screaming "NO!".

In the weeks after the grim diagnosis my head was spinning with so many thoughts about me, my life and especially my future, as there was suddenly a thick cloud over my head. I tried to make sure, that I at least had one hour of me time during that period to discover the "new me", as there were suddenly invisible limitations. A bit hard finding space for me-time, as my friends apparenly workd out a schedule, so I would have company every day - I know they meant well, and I do appriciate everything they did for me in those days, and they now understand why I needed my own space just for an hour or so.

The doctors told me, that I might have problems with digesting meat (lamb, pork, cow etc) and that my ability to use my legs might be worsened... It took me a while to figure out my new MS diet, which now works - those days I get too tempted and actually eat meat = my stomach has its grim way of revenging my act. Slowly during the years after the MS I have lost the ability to run every day - I can only do it 2-3 days a month which is hard, when you are used to running and thereby de-stress. At least I found out that I am still able to walk and long walks even.

It is still work in progress, as I continiously find out things about me. Small adjustments all the time to make my day work out for me and "forcing me" to find new possibilities.... I have made back-up plans if I am suddenly unable to have my current job.... I "just" need to stay positive. The "just" seems soo easy to some of the people around me daily - but it is hard work!!

What Judy really made me realise after having read her blogpost: I am playing the cards that I have been given and I if try to cheat (eg. too little sleep, wrong food etc) my body reacts instantly. Thanks Judy for once again having given me food for thought :o)

1 comment:

Peace Be With You said...

I am adding a link to this post to the remarks section of my poem. Thank you for continuing the discussion.