Well for starters it is a big part of your identity, its on your drivers licence, in your passport and of course it started with your birth certificate, as the name was chosen by your parents.
After today's event I actually thought about having a name change.....
I was cheerful from the moment I woke up, since it had been snowing and got on all my winterclothes and decided to pay the local craft/creative store a visit, as I needed some new supplies.
A sale is on at the store so I was looking into some items when a guy bombed into me.... Crap! My ex-boyfriend C who decided to break up when I came home from the hospital just diagnosed with a new sclerosis attack and had therefore been given the first out of tree treaments, that was to be endured in three consecutive days.....
What was he doing there - and then this girl came by and introduced herself "Hi, I am C's girlfriend A, I dont think we have met before".... the two of them in "my creative store"... but that's not the worst part of it - that would be the face, that we apparently share our first given name....... He introduced me as an old friend - ok not exactly the truth, but that would be his problem....
Then she told me, that he was such a gem of a boyfriend, 'cause he was soo supportive during her chemo teatments.... I only heard the words breat cancer after that.... everything else..... a blur.... everything just came back to me: he told me (when he dumped me as his girlfriend), that he could not handle people being sick.... this from a guy who actually knew about the MS before starting dating me.......
I could have yelled at him.... Could have said to her "How convenient - he doesn't have to worry about getting your name right when having sex".... but I just couldn't - he had not told her the truth about me......
He have tried to call me on my mobile several times after this encounter today - but I just can't deal with him right now..... He already spoiled today's good mood and left it in a dark place, that actually scares me.....
The blow of her sharing my first name is enhanced with the fact, that another ex-boyfriend also lives with a girl.... tada... with the same first name.... And if that wasn't bad enough - a third ex-boyfiend just had a baby-girl with the girlfriend with a deriviation of my first name......
I am writing this while having a glass of red wine - to bring me courage to write it... But it will only be that one glass and not the whole bottle..... I just need to write it, to get it out of my system and see tomorrow with fresh eyes.
Btw - I found today's photo at: http://raymondpronk.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/birth_certificate.jpg
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