Well.... Despite all I love it. But there are some details I dont love - but refuse to let it spoil my Christmas...
The blog-post the other day from Melanie's Randomness hit it spot on: families can be a funny thing during Christmas. What is my family like then.... well when I saw the movie "Family Stone" it made me smile, as I recognised a lot....
My family.. well...
My mom has not accepted that I am actually able to live a fairly normal life despite being diagnosed with MS thus always commenting everyting I do "are you sure should be doing" this and that - "oh no that will be way to hard for you" etc... she has no confidence in my abilities what so ever... She is diagnosed with another disease, and she just gave up - didnt bother to find out, what she can and cannot do with that disease... Ergo - I feel like she's bringing me down....
My dad... well doesnt want to argue with my mother, because then she will be afterhim the following day... Somehow I dont blame him - on the other hand: I could use his support.
My sister in law doesn comprehend why I love my small apparment - and generally believe that I am stupid for not finding a bigger appartment (that opinion is luckily not shared by my brother), she constantly ask me when I am going to get kids (well, if it happens it happens - but it is not something that I am desperate for - and yes I do like kids) and "why can you not hold on to a boyfriend"......
Her husband - one of my two brothers is just like my dad....
My uncle always ask me "are you sure, that you are not a lesbian" - not accepting my answer being "No" - and he has seen some of my ex-boyfriends.... My aunt always tell people how food should be cooked... she is not a chef but used to work in a kitchen....
Then there is my absent brother - he cut contact with the family when I was 12 and nobody bothered ever to tell me, why he might have done it... I tried looking him up but invain - so every Christmas for years I was sad, because I felt like he was missing. The famility always teased so I always ended up with tears in my eyes. Some years ago he suddenly contacted me and asked for my help - he was stranded abroad and desperately needed to come home. I helped him - and never heard from him again... that is I know where he lives, but he is the one who should contact me and not the other way around. But now I have an adult view on his personality, so even thugh he owes me money for the airfare - I feel that I have closure and no longer miss him at the Christmas table..... My family got wind of me helping him out and now they complain about me not telling them where he lives etc how they would like him to participate at Christmas etc....
So when I dropped the bomb this year, that I was not going to be home for Christmas but instead going travelling... some of them went "Thank God - now we dont have to adjust the traditional Christmas food served in our family to adjust you MS-diet"
Ok that remark really hurt - there are some dishes in the traditional family Christmas food that I can eat, but then I can just eat a little more of the other dishes.... But it also cemented my decision to go travelling: this is the first Christmas after I got the MS-diet plan, so it will be hard avoiding all the dishes, that I can not longer eat but actually love. They fail to realise that some of the aspects of following a diet are hard, but you accept it because your body suddenly starts to function normally without the no-go food.
Despite my family I still love Christmas - my Christmas tree is decorated with ornaments brought home from my travels, my appartment will be decorated for Christmas, homemade cards are sent to friends and family (that is my way of getting back at their bad behavior because it always makes them feell guilty - they receive so many greetings from their friends and distant family but they never sent cards to them - on the other hand they complain of somebody suddenly stops sending them Christmas cards), the CD-player will play all the Christmas songs.
I am so fortunate that I have friends who share my joy about Christmas - they know my appartment is way too small, so I cant throw a Christmas party. But on the other hand they know that I would happily bring some homemade dishes if they ask me to when they have Christmas parties, so I feel like contributing to the Christmas cheer even though it wont be at my own place.
I love Christmas - just not with my family.
1 comment:
Ya know what's so nice about your writing. You leave us with a positive note. Families are funny and we all got those lil issues. I hope you have a great christmas with your friends & that they make you smile. I'm sorry to hear about your brother but at least you have closure. That can be so key to things. =)
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